August 21, 2017

How Honest is Too Honest For Children?



Do you teach you children beyond textbook learning? I mean do you teach them about the things they do not learn about in school? The direction I am taking this is learning about the reality of the world around them. Like what drugs really do to people, what is going on in our country, or death. At what age do you talk to your children about these subjects? How early would you say is too early?



Well I have done the google search, and I have talked with my hubby; but are we wrong to be so honest with our children? We have taken a different approach with our children when it comes to the world they live in. Todays kids are finding out so much from technology and kids are sharing these things at school. My daughter is learning about things I didn't even hear of until I was twice her age. Why is this happening?

Well instead of panicking and making up some story about her dead cat, we told her he was hit my a car and we explained death to her. When she was harassed at school I told her that sometimes people are just assholes even if you play the nice card, and sometimes telling a teacher can make it worse. I mean seriously she was six, but I am no idiot, and I will not treat her like one. She is a child and todays world is so much different than when I was that age. I want her to know she can ask us anything, and we will be honest.

So I know some people are thinking we are the worst parents ever, but let me explain. We do not go out of our way to teach them about the bad, but if we are asked we spill. I would rather they learn from us than from some punk kid playing around on google, with not supervision. I do not believe in lying to my children, because then I wouldn't be practicing what I preach. What kind of message is that sending? Not that I really care what others say about our parenting, but seriously society is so ugly and if we hide them from it what will happen when to go out into it?


Even with holidays spirits like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, I have explained them differently to where I am not lying, but I am not taking her childhood innocence either. She knows they will not come if she doesn't sleep, and she knows that when she gets old enough she will know who they are too. Its not a whole crazy lie, but its also not corrupting information, that will ruin their childhood.

For instance, when you child is harassed/bullied at school what do you tell them? I told my daughter to go elsewhere and stay away from that child and if it persisted tell me and we would go to the staff. The first few time I did have her tell a teacher and guess what the harassment got worse to the point she was physically violated by a child at recess, and as afraid as she was she did tell us, and honestly she helped a child that was having a very hard life outside of school and was taking it out on other kids.

I know not every story works out, but for this child it did and now she and my daughter are very good friends and I am so happy that my child was able to see her in a different light after everything that happened. She knew that this little girl needed friends and instead of being a jerk back or hating her for what happened my six year old daughter opened her heart and let that little girl into her life as a friend. It made my heart melt when she told me they were becoming friends.



I like to think it is because of our way of raising her, but maybe she is just a very special little girl. Whatever it is has rubbed off onto her sister, who by the way is a mouthy little jerk...lol Seriously though her little sister befriended one child last year with a weight problem. No one like him and they were always taunting him, so my five year old daughter stood up to his bullies for him and played with him at recess no matter what others had to say! How awesome is that?

I love my children, and I want them to come to their father and I with everything! Call me crazy for wanting to know everything my daughter has going on in her life. I am a helicopter parent and I want my daughter to be comfortable coming to me with ANYTHING!! I know as she grows she will get more distant, but maybe with the honesty we show her now will keep her somewhat close so we can keep her and her siblings safe from the ugliness in this world. I know I can't make them stay forever and they will grow and have their own lives, but I want them to have the best life they can while I have them.

We are not a wealthy family, and cannot take them on a big fancy vacation, or buy them the coolest new toys. We are also so far from perfect; but when it comes to our children they are our world. They always come first! We have changed our lives so much in that last eight years for them and I wouldn't change it for the world! They are amazing little babies and I cannot wait to see them become adults. I cannot wait to see where their lives takes them!


7 comments:

  1. I totally agree. It's sad that our children are losing their innocence at such a young age but that's the nature of the beast, Technology! Information is now at our finger tips and easier than ever for our young children to find things out. I would rather them feel
    Comfortable coming to me and hearing the truth than google.

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    1. So many parent do not realize what they are giving their children when the hand them tech toys. I am a stickler and I have parental controls with monitoring on all devices my children use, because its scary!

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  2. It's such a tricky line! It sounds like you are striking up a great balance with your kids. Not looking forward to school starting and encountering these situations on a more regular basis 😬

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    1. It is not fun. I have contemplated homeschooling, but I worry about them losing out on social interaction!

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  3. I always try to redirect my kids and ask them what they think when they question Santa or the Easter bunny. When hard pressed I told them the truth.

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  4. For us its such a fine line between what they can/should know and what they need to be protected from. I try to sugarcoat as much as possible when they are little but once they hit school age, its just so tough!

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  5. I think the world is so different these days that as parents we need to be honest (no matter what that looks likes) now.

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