August 21, 2017

How Honest is Too Honest For Children?

Do you teach you children beyond textbook learning? I mean do you teach them about the things they do not learn about in school? The direction I am taking this is learning about the reality of the world around them. Like what drugs really do to people, what is going on in our country, or death. At what age do you talk to your children about these subjects? How early would you say is too early?

Well I have done the google search, and I have talked with my hubby; but are we wrong to be so honest with our children? We have taken a different approach with our children when it comes to the world they live in. Todays kids are finding out so much from technology and kids are sharing these things at school. My daughter is learning about things I didn't even hear of until I was twice her age. Why is this happening?

Well instead of panicking and making up some story about her dead cat, we told her he was hit my a car and we explained death to her. When she was harassed at school I told her that sometimes people are just assholes even if you play the nice card, and sometimes telling a teacher can make it worse. I mean seriously she was six, but I am no idiot, and I will not treat her like one. She is a child and todays world is so much different than when I was that age. I want her to know she can ask us anything, and we will be honest.

So I know some people are thinking we are the worst parents ever, but let me explain. We do not go out of our way to teach them about the bad, but if we are asked we spill. I would rather they learn from us than from some punk kid playing around on google, with not supervision. I do not believe in lying to my children, because then I wouldn't be practicing what I preach. What kind of message is that sending? Not that I really care what others say about our parenting, but seriously society is so ugly and if we hide them from it what will happen when to go out into it?

Even with holidays spirits like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, I have explained them differently to where I am not lying, but I am not taking her childhood innocence either. She knows they will not come if she doesn't sleep, and she knows that when she gets old enough she will know who they are too. Its not a whole crazy lie, but its also not corrupting information, that will ruin their childhood.

For instance, when you child is harassed/bullied at school what do you tell them? I told my daughter to go elsewhere and stay away from that child and if it persisted tell me and we would go to the staff. The first few time I did have her tell a teacher and guess what the harassment got worse to the point she was physically violated by a child at recess, and as afraid as she was she did tell us, and honestly she helped a child that was having a very hard life outside of school and was taking it out on other kids.

I know not every story works out, but for this child it did and now she and my daughter are very good friends and I am so happy that my child was able to see her in a different light after everything that happened. She knew that this little girl needed friends and instead of being a jerk back or hating her for what happened my six year old daughter opened her heart and let that little girl into her life as a friend. It made my heart melt when she told me they were becoming friends.

I like to think it is because of our way of raising her, but maybe she is just a very special little girl. Whatever it is has rubbed off onto her sister, who by the way is a mouthy little Seriously though her little sister befriended one child last year with a weight problem. No one like him and they were always taunting him, so my five year old daughter stood up to his bullies for him and played with him at recess no matter what others had to say! How awesome is that?

I love my children, and I want them to come to their father and I with everything! Call me crazy for wanting to know everything my daughter has going on in her life. I am a helicopter parent and I want my daughter to be comfortable coming to me with ANYTHING!! I know as she grows she will get more distant, but maybe with the honesty we show her now will keep her somewhat close so we can keep her and her siblings safe from the ugliness in this world. I know I can't make them stay forever and they will grow and have their own lives, but I want them to have the best life they can while I have them.

We are not a wealthy family, and cannot take them on a big fancy vacation, or buy them the coolest new toys. We are also so far from perfect; but when it comes to our children they are our world. They always come first! We have changed our lives so much in that last eight years for them and I wouldn't change it for the world! They are amazing little babies and I cannot wait to see them become adults. I cannot wait to see where their lives takes them!

August 16, 2017

Like Father, Like Son

Do you have a son? Do you ever imagine what kind of man he will be when he is older? My son just turned two and he is so smart it is unbelievable. He surprises me everyday with a new word or new wonder. I look at him no as my baby, but now day he will be so much more and have babies of his own. I often wonder what kind of man he will be, as well as what kind of daddy he will be.

I imagine him being like his father, who by the way is an incredible husband, father, and hard worker. He is always there when we need him and he does everything for us. He keeps us safe, works to keep our family safe, warm, and fed. I hope our little boy will watch and learn! He could learn a lot from his daddy and when I see them together it makes my heart melt.

Daddy shows him his ways, and I am happy to watch them grow together. I watch them together, and it is like I get a glimpse of the man my little boy will hopefully someday become. My son has the most amazing dad in the world, who has the patience of...well okay our boy is 2 and it can be hard to have patience when he is moving tools, but you get the point. He is there and the smile on their faces are silent, but they say so much at the same time.

When it comes to our curious little boy he may be moms baby, but he is dads extra set of hands. He is already learning his way around a vehicle, and the shop. He is such great company to his daddy now, but when he is old enough daddy will have it made. His little body will be perfect to fit under all the vehicles, and his hands will be just the right size to fit in all the cracks.

For a man raising their little guy is like looking their retirement in the I wonder if my husband can see the man that will take over for him. I imagine in the future while daddy sits and enjoys a cold drink, he will be  watching him do all the work. I am not a dad so maybe I am sending the wrong message, but that is how i picture it, because thats what I see when I look at my girls. Soon they will be cooking and cleaning, while is sit back and

These two are so beautiful together and I cannot wait to document them growing together and watching my son learn everything his daddy knows. It will be a beautiful story he will be able to share with a son of his own!! A daddy is a special man that can never be forgotten. Even if daddy is a step daddy it is still special. Like they say so many men can father children, but it takes a special man to be a daddy!! Lets praise all this daddy's and show them how special they really are!! 

August 14, 2017

Life is Precious!

Do you ever just sit back and watch life pass you by? Do you ever just wish there was a pause button in your life; so you can enjoy that beautiful moment for just one more minute? I watch my children playing in the yard, or in the park wishing I could just hold on for a little longer. Now that the summer is ending, it has really hit me that so many moments are going to happen without me. They will be at school for most of the day soon, and I am honestly very sad. I am happy at the same time for the little break I will get, but mostly just sad.

Every time a new school year starts time speeds up and before I know it my kids are another year older. Following that year is an even faster summer, that I can never find enough days for all the adventures I want to share with them. (Sigh) I wish I could just find that damn remote to press pause for just a few moments. Why is it going by so fast, and what happened to my precious little babies that needed mom?

Everyday these beautiful little people I created become more and more independent, and I thought I would be ecstatic about it; but I'm not. I love being needed by my children, because they give me a sense of purpose. What am I going to do when they don't need me anymore? I know they need to be more independent, but I am just not ready to give them that yet. I also know it is about them and not me, but I don't care I am going to be selfish a little longer.

I hope I do not sound like a crazy obsessive mom, because I know I am and I would hate for everyone else to I just love them so much, and soon it will be so different! My husband and I have started teaching them to have a little more independence and do more for themselves; but mom is not so good at it. I give in and do so much more than I know they need me too, but it is just hard to let go after being home with them daily for the last 4 years.

I try so hard to capture photos and videos of my children thinking it will make the moment last longer, but it doesn't. Don't get me wrong I am glad I have taken all the photos and videos I have, but it is nothing like hitting pause. It makes for a great memory later on, but as for staying in that moment...its no pause button. I use to look at it like a pause button, but I know in reality that it will be years before I see it again, and my children will be so much bigger and wiser!

I preach to everyone to capture that photo or video unedited to share with your children later in life. No one wants all their memories to be edited and posed, because that is not real!! I love having beautiful edited photos to show off on our wall or social media, but I am all about a real picture of our reality. I may not always post them or share them, but I have put them in a little time capsule for our future use!

So take the time to spend precious moments with your family when you can. I know many have busy lives and that makes it hard, but do not let your routine take over your life. You will miss out on so much if you do not step off the main road and enjoy life for what it is. When I look at my children and my husband all I can do is smile, because we may not get to have all the time in the world together; but when we are together life feels so surreal. 

August 4, 2017

Keeping Up with These Sprouts!

Why do our little ones have to grow like weeds? I go to the store or hop online and I find that perfect little outfit and it fits them perfectly...for a week! Ugh the frustration takes over and I just want to buy the same outfit in a bigger size, but what is the point?

I hate shopping and hate having to buy clothes to big, because they look ridiculous for a month then fit for a week, then BOOM their shirts are too tight and their pants are too short. Time to put it in a capsule to move on to the next sister or one of the local churches. Now we are back to shopping again!

I cannot believe how much money we have spent on clothes for our kids, and do not get me started on school clothes! That is a whole other story, and not a pretty one at that! I like my kids to look cute, but I also want them to be comfortable. I am not a materialistic, name brand needing mom, but my kids do need to be presentable. I refuse to let my children look like they are homeless (if they do I will not take them out in

So my mission lately is to find a solution to this problem of keeping my children from running around looking like they are waiting for a flood, or wearing their brother's shirts! I am exploring different clothing companies delivering clothes monthly as well as thrift shopping (which can be more expensive that purchasing brand new).

I have tried online yard sale sights, but have had too many bad experiences of getting ripped off, so that ship has sailed. We do have a few churches that do free clothing give aways from donations they receive, but we are not in need like most so I will not take something someone else needs. I am not saying I would never use them, because there was a time when I didn't have a choice, but to take advantage of their kindness to make sure my child had what they needed!

I have been doing research lately about these clothing places online, and some offer memberships. I use to be weary of those types of sites, but after some research and calculating I would actually save money! It is shopping I know I will be doing anyway, because the kids are not going to stop growing. Why not give it a try?

I am so excited to try these companies out and I will be updating everyone when I decide where to start and what works best. Oh and also the best choice for a mommy who wants to save, but keep their kiddo styling. Finally going to get with the times and give the new options for parents a try!! If you have any suggestions feel free to comment below or email me anytime!!

The Next 5 Steps to Being a Budgeting Mommy!!

Moms are not the only ones intimidated by the word BUDGET. When people hear the word budget they associate it with math and school. Guess what it does not take a genius to do it. So I hope you read my previous post 5 Simple Steps to Start Being a Budgeting Mommy!, to get you budgeting. That was my sweet and simple directions for beginners, but now I want to tell you how we take that to the next level!!

Lets talk organization!! The most important part to my budgeting system and life is organization. Sometimes I wonder if I take it too far, but then I realized there is no such thing as being over organized. Especially when we need an old bill receipt, or an old pay stub...cause guess what I know right where it is!!

Now here are you next 5 steps Moms!! You can do it!!

Get a Box Folder

Step one is to go to the store, and find the office supplies section. Now look for a filing box that is easy to take out. I never get the same one so whatever you would like is fine really, just be sure it has lots of space! Below is a photo of the box I got this year, because they did not carry the one I got the previous year. 

Fill out Labels

Inside the folder you will see the labeling tabs sticking up now you will take a sharpie and you will start with a Section for empty Budget Sheets, next is Pay Stubs, next I usually do two sections for receipts (which I personally copy as many as I can on a page and toss the originals after a month or two because their ink wears of quickly; then after that I make a section for every month of the year followed by an open slot for our taxes. 
Also as a Side note on your budget sheets I file everything by month, so that means more than one budget sheet will go into the month file; because you should be doing one for every pay period!! 

File Necessary Paper

Now is the time consuming part, and that is putting everything in its place. If you start right at the beginning of the year it will not be time consuming. You will just be getting prepared if you start at the right time. If it is not the beginning of there year and you do not have everything together just file what you have or just start from whatever month it is! Another step to ad for the b

Pull out on Pay Day and Keep Updated

I like to keep my folder at my computer desk, because that is where I sit to take care of my bills and planning. Since it is already here I pull out my budget sheet and get everything started. I will also place my pay stub into the folder so I do not misplace it. It really is that simple to get started!
Now I can take my budget sheet to town and run all my errands (which doesn't always happen in one day), then when I return home I can go back to my desk and put in all of my receipts for the day and make sure to update my budget sheet. Also with this I would like you to start stapling bill receipts to your budget sheet! If I was unable to finish it all in one day I like to place everything in the very front section, so I can come back to it when necessary and take care of it.

Never Throw These Out

Now when the year ends and you are done with filing everything DO NOT THROW OUT. Put it somewhere out of the way, but not impossible to get to. On January 1st of the next year go find yourself another folder to start all over, and when you file your taxes be sure to go back to the previous folder and place those in the back of it. Trust me you will be thankful later!!

So moms keep up the good work and I promise you will love me next time you need to look for an old receipt or what ever financial paper it may be. Trust me these systems are worth your time. Setting them up is the most time consuming, but once you get rolling it is so simple and easy. You do not have to be a genius to budget your families finances.

August 2, 2017

Overwhelmed Momma!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with your life or job? I know I do, so I wanted to share with you a few reminders to help ease your mind, and let you know you are not alone. These are not fixes to avoid, or take away the overwhelming feeling, because I am pretty sure there is not a way to do so. If there is I have not found one that actually works. Everyone has a breaking point!!

I have been staying home with my children for four years now, and let me tell you it is not an easy task. I felt so overwhelmed in the beginning, because I was used to being away from home! Kids are no easy task, and lets be honest you cannot expect your children to be perfectly behaved 24/7. Children are an unpredictable ball of question. You never know when that ball is going to pop, roll around, or simply be kicked right in your

Seriously though who is with me? I have my moments where I am on top of the world and I have this mom thing down. Yet other times I have this lost feeling of having no idea what I am doing, and how I am going to get everything done? Take a chill pill!! Yea if only there was a chill pill, but in this world there is not and when I get overwhelmed (deep breath)....I break down a little and shove it down, or move on.

The problem is once I have shoved so much crap down it all comes out at once, and it is not pretty. I am a baby and I will not freak out or have a raging fit, but I will break down and cry. I usually use the excuse of I have to poop, or I have to shower. That is my mom code of I am going to go break down while you guys give me some space! Even with my kids yelling through the door I zone into a place of dark ugly thoughts. I feel empty yet full at the same time. I ask where I went wrong, or what I am doing wrong. I know it is nothing, but it doesn't mean I don't wonder those things when I go to this place!

I see so many mom's that are just making these schedules and making nice little play dates; and wonder to myself where do they find the time, or do they have like a stunt double that helps them through their day!? Crazy right!?

When I get ready to walk out of the room I have chosen to release my pain, I take a deep breath and smile. In my heart I know that I am still a little sad or bothered, but I also know those little faces are out there waiting for mom! It makes all the difference in the world as to the look on my face when I enter their presence, and in that one moment I realize that..I am one of those moms. 

I know out there somewhere is someone wondering how the hell I do it, and envying my well organized life! I know this because they have said, but I overlooked the compliment! So why am I going to this dark place, and why am I questioning myself. I am better than that, and I know it is just a little fit! Yet it still gets me from time to time, and I am absolutely devastated when it does.

I know just about everyone visits this place from time to time; but my question is why and what gets us there? The answer I have come to find every time is LIFE! Life gets tough and sometimes it is good to breakdown and cry it out! We are not the person we are in that dark place, but a visit there is a reminder that we are just people and we are not invincible. We are not superheros, but we are human.

Next time you feel yourself questioning your worth or what have you, ask yourself...

What brought me to this point

What happened or what was said that made you break down? Did someone say something that hurt your feelings, or did you simply just not get your way? In order to understand what is going on you need to ask yourself what the trigger was.

Who has brought me to this point

Has there been a tragedy or a life changing event recently? Sometimes it can be a bunch of little things that are just adding up. Don't be afraid to admit if it was your own fault!! Did you simply not communicate something with someone and now you are paying for it.? Honesty and openness is key to any relationship, even with yourself. Do not lie to yourself to make yourself feel better!!

Where will I go now

Now you can catch your breath and thing beyond this moment. Am I going to be okay? Is there someone that I need to talk to? Sometimes for me I just need sometime with my babies to remind me that I am a good mother and I am doing a better job than I give myself credit for!

What has this taught me

So the biggest thing is what did this open your eyes to and how are you going to deal with the situation? Was it your own doing and you just need to move on, or was it the doing of others and you need to voice your opinion? 
Now take those answers and get on with your life! Do what makes you happy and keep living, without looking back. There is no need to hide from that dark place, just don't forget to come back out. We are all our own worst enemy and we all have our demons, but the truth of the matter is you will go further, and be better using these as a REASON rather than an EXCUSE. Make them the your reason to be better, and not the excuse to be a rotten piece of crap!