June 21, 2017

Bullying


Is your child being bullied at school? Do they confide in you to talk about what goes on at school?


So the biggest question I see from parents is "what do you do when your child is being bullied?" I as a mother want to march right up to the bully that made my baby cry, and make them cry! I have had more than one incident that has flipped my momma bear switch, and we have gone to the school to handle the situation ourselves. I understand that kids will be kids, but there is a line; and when it is crossed I will be talking to the principle, and parents of the bully if necessary.

Now with this I do talk to my children and tell them to just let it go, but I think there is a point when a child has a hard time letting it go. Bullying has gone to a whole new level since I was in school. I have read some horrific articles, and have seen so many ridiculous stories about bullying gone bad, so as a parent when do we draw the line of no more? Would it be wrong to pull you child from a school they are being bullied at? Would it be a bad idea to look into homeschooling?

I am in a learning faze of dealing with bullied children, and I am learning really quick that all children react differently to bullying. If you are dealing with a child being bullied, then as a parent you need to identify their emotions about the bullying. Connect with your child about the bullying. Come down to their level and make them feel comfortable sharing with you. Do not over react take a deep breath and let them get it out.

So to give you an example my little girls have both had their share of children making fun of them, or being just plain mean. My oldest daughter is a softy and she does not like to talk about it. Sometimes it takes a while before she will give me the whole story, but I can usually tell as soon as I come to get her from school, what kind of day it has been. Now with my second oldest, who forever was the shy pie that did not talk to anyone, is not afraid to stand up for herself. She is one of those children who has a comeback for everything and well she takes care of herself very well.

So here I have two completely different situations. I have one crying her eyes out, and at the age of 8 is already self conscious about things she shouldn't even be worrying about. While I have another that sometimes I worry she will become the bully. Don't get me wrong I am glad she sticks up for herself, but at times I worry the reaction she gets from others will make her like being rude to people. I remind her often it is not okay to bully, but standing up for yourself is good.

In the beginning I was always so angry teachers were not fixing this, but now I have become more understanding. Teachers are way out numbered and they cannot be by every kid all the time, and some kids do not want to tell, in fear it will make their situation worse. A teacher can only do so much about the bullying. So lets take a step back and be sure to know the situation, before you lose it on a teacher. If the teachers are oblivious then by all means show them what happens when something happens to your baby.

Bullying is on the rise, and is to the point that young children are taking their own lives. It is an ugly epidemic, and parents need to be aware. Be aware of what goes on with your children at school. Ask them about their day, and listen. Listening is the most important part of being a parent. Do not ask and not listen. If your child senses you not listening they will eventually put a wall up, then you are on the out. Who else would they turn to?


If you have concerns about bullying in your child's school, don't be afraid to show you concern. I know some are too busy, but think about starting an anonymous group where kids could talk to someone without other kids finding out. If a child is seen regularly seeing the therapist, well some kids are jerks and it will only make it worse. There is video chat, email, texting, and so much more. Would it hurt to help these children talk about it in comfort?

With all that being said I would like to leave you with a little food for thought. What about the bully? Everyone is focused on the bullied, but shouldn't we also be concerned about the bully (like a take it out at the source perspective)? What demons does that bully have to make them treat another child poorly?

That is a topic for another day!!!

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