June 16, 2017

Being in Foster Care and how it changed my view on life!!

Have you ever been in Foster Care or knew someone that was? Being a foster child myself I would like to share with others what it can mean. It is never easy swing someone in this position, but out there somewhere is hope for them. Some never find that hope, but I did!

As an infant my mother put me on a side burner and my father committed suicide. Everyone always told me my father loved me very much and that he was an amazing person, and I am sure he did and was, but he was not there and my mother obviously did not want me. Luckily I had a grandmother who took me in and raised me as her own. Well she raised me for the first almost 10 years of my life, and one day my whole world turned upside down.


We had just returned to school from a field trip and I was called to the office; when I arrived there was a lady I had never met waiting for me. I was scared, but the school counselor and principal assured me that it was fine, and that I needed to go with her. So we got in her car and as we were driving I felt the tears coming she assured me everything was okay, but I knew by her silence it was serious. So many things were running through my head, but never being able to go home was not one of them.

I was then placed in a temporary home with my baby sister. There were 5 of us, but they could not place us all together. I was confused by the fact that I was taken, because my mom had never taken care of me. I really didn't know my sisters or her. She had not been in my life much, but that was how it had to be because my grandma did not have custody of me. I was scared and just wanted to go home, but unless my mom got her life straight we would not be returning home.

I lost all hope of going home after the fourth visit we were to have with our mother, and she was yet again a no-show. After that I had accepted this was my life now. At this point I was placed in a family by myself 80 miles away from all that I ever knew. I was so angry and so lost, but it was time to get used to it and learn to live a life I didn't know how to. I had 3 new sisters, a new brother, and a new mom and dad (which I never had).

It took time and it was not easy, but I grew to love where I was. My foster family raised me as their own child, and that for me was amazing. I never had a mom and dad to come home to. I was not the ideal child. I was not very social. I spent a lot of time by myself in my room, but they would try to get me out to be with the family watching television or what not. Life was so different from what I knew from living with my grandmother. I often thought of them and wondered if they thought of me.


As I got older my foster parents were able to help me get reconnected with my grandmother, and it was amazing I had not seen her in so long! Later on in high school they all  came back into my life and I was ecstatic. I contacted them a few times and they came to a few of my events as I came upon graduating. I was so happy to have them attend my high school graduation.
After I graduated and moved away to go to college, things got tough and I came back to my roots. I am sure glad I did because I met the love of my life, and I got to be with my biological family again. I now see everything in perspective about why everything that happened, happened. I no longer wondered why it happened, or why my mother did not try to get us back, because I didn't care. I use to be so angry at her, but I lost that anger; because I was given an amazing life that she obviously did not care to give me or my sisters; whatever the reason I am now grateful!

I have not kept in touch with my foster parents as much as I wish I had, but life gets so busy I have distanced from them. I hope they know that I love them with all my heart for making me the person that I am today. I hope they also know that I appreciate everything they did for me, and most of all I am grateful that they and my foster sibling accepted me to be a part of their family. No words could ever explain how much I love their big hearts! So thank you from me and my family for making me an amazing person, mother, and spouse.

I will never forget what they did for me...






17 comments:

  1. My wife had a not so great mother as well. She's lived in 48 states because her mom was an addict. Fin!Lily she ended up living with her grandmother. She escaped that lifestyle, and became a faith filled mother of 5, and a great wife. She's able to give from an area of her heart that undrstands.

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    1. I am so happy to see someone who can relate, it is a long road while you are young. Now that I am older I really do understand and I am a better mother because of my past. There is no changing it so I love to see people use it as a reason to be better and not an excuse to be bad!!

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  2. What an incredible story. It makes me so heartsore to think of you as a little one going through that. Of having so many moments of insecurity, loliness and sadness. I wish I could give that little girl a cuddle or a safe space.

    I am sure that it wasn't confined to childhood and all those moments and interactions would influence you as an adult. Wow. You must be so strong!!

    Thank you thank you for sharing this difficult story.

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    1. Thank you for commenting, and sharing your kind words it means alot.

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  3. What a powerful story. I am glad you have found peace with your past. Speaking as someone who has regret for not getting in contact with someone until it was too late, think about contacting your foster family to reestablish that tie. I bet they will be grateful to hear from you again.

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  4. Wow! What an inspirational story! Thank u for sharing! I did not have a similar growing up but it is so good to remember that we all come from such different places in life and it is so important to share.

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    1. We do and I have been gifted with a new view on people. I understand more that ever how to not judge a book by its cover, because the page have so much to say!

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  5. This is a really amazing and inspiring story. And so lovely to hear about your foster family who raised you so well too.
    Foster families - good ones who care - like the one you had fascinate me. It probably is so easy to just take a child in and let them sulk and brood and not care at all. But it takes so much love and compassion and faith and kindness to be able to draw that child out and love them and help them stsnd on their feet. And you are right - you are blessed.
    If you do speak to them soon, please let them know that they have touched more lives than they know. Your story is truly inspiring.

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    1. They are amazing not only my parents but so many others.

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  6. Thank you all for your kind words it means so much!

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  7. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I haven't known anyone in a similar position, but I could only imagine the level of gratitude that you must have for your foster parents. I wish you all the best! :-)

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  8. Although my upbringing was completely different it is nice to see someone who is so willing to openly share in order to support others. I am sure you will greatly inspire someone with your story. Keep on sharing & being you.

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    1. Thank you and I hope to help someone along my journey of sharing!

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  9. It's never easy to understand that your parents are not interested in being parents. I'm so glad you had a great foster family and that they helped you reconnect with your grandma. I can't imagine how scary all of that must have been for a child!

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    1. It was and the hardest thing lately that made it all surface is my oldest daughter is the age I was when I was taken away. I could not imagine making my child feel like I did ever!!!

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