June 27, 2017

The Circle of Parenting.

Do you have privacy issues? Do you find it hard to go anywhere or do anything with a toddler? They have to know what you are doing and why you are doing it, right? I am lucky if I get to go to the bathroom alone, and even if I do slip away to take care of business within seconds I hear little pitter patters coming down the hall. I love my children with all my heart but there are times when I wish they would just back off!!

I walk in the kitchen to get a drink, and before I even put the cup to my mouth I have a little body staring at my cup like they are dying of thirst. Or if I make myself something to ear, no matter if I already fed them, they are staring at my plate like they never ate before. My biggest pet peeve that I get on my children about is when I brush my hair, or change my clothes automatically get bombarded with "Where are you going?". Well my child I am running far far away, and no you may not go; I am going to leave you home all alone!!

Funny thing is every time I say it they panic, like I have ever left them. I take my children everywhere, and as much as they drive me crazy I wouldn't have it any other way. These crazy adventures shopping, to the park, out to eat, or just for a drive are great. I may complain a little because they fought the whole time, or screamed the whole time, but really deep down I didn't hate it. 

In a few years when they are old enough to stay home alone or be watched by their big sister, they will chose home over going with me. They will one day have friends that are way cooler than their mother. So I am taking advantage of all the time I can now! No matter how crabby and tired they get every trip holds a precious memory of something they said, or something they did. Whether good or bad I am so glad I get to be there to witness those memories. 

I know it will not last forever, and I love my children so much! I know one day they will be in my shoes with the privacy issues, and I will be the one at their bedroom door wanting in! I will be wanting to know where they are going and what they are doing! I will also want to know exactly what is going on in their lives...Just like they did to me! I will be invading their privacy, just in a different sort of many, but basically the same as they are doing to me now.

That is why I need to not get so frustrated, although it can be hard, but what is it going to be like when they are older! They won't be calling me down the hall, or peeking under my door, and they will not want to be with me 24/7! It sounds like a dream come true right now, but I doubt that is how I will feel when the time comes.

Every year they get a little bit older, 
a little bit wiser, 
and a little more independent. 
The years will keep passing, 
and they will keep growing further, and further away. 
I wish I could just slow the time, 
and enjoy them a little bit longer.
I know I have to let them go,
but why is it coming so soon.
I will always be watching,
and wondering where they are
I hope they will keep loving me,
and also let me think they still need me.
A child is a blessing no words can explain
So don't take them for granted,
and keep them close while you can.

From the outside looking in we all judge way too much. It is not about how we raise our children, it is about what we all take from it. Not just that parents, but more importantly the children. What have you taught them? What have you shared with the? Have you shared precious moments together? Never lose sight of how important you are to your children. You are as important to them as they are to you, and one day you will complete the circle of parenting, and will be on the other side of the door wanting in. Do not shut them out, so hopefully when the day comes they won't shut you out either.

June 23, 2017

Adventure Time!

I have done it again! I took my children on a mini adventure, and looked like the crazy obsessed mom with my camera out running next to my kids wherever they went. My camera was clicking nearly non-stop. I never really realize how many people are staring as I do try to capture our day, but this time I stopped and took a look around. They were all staring right at us, but the best part is they were all smiling! I actually had one mother ask me if I was a photographer, I informed her I as just a proud mother capturing life's moments!

When I returned home I took a few more pictures while our little boy helped dad work on his vehicle, and when I placed my memory card into my computer, later that night, I had taken over 1200 photos! I weeded out the blurry and crazy ones, and still ended up with 680 pictures of our day.

When we go on our adventures every stop we make the camera bag goes over my shoulder and out comes the camera. It is like a permanent attachment of the day. It gets heavy and can be a pain to carry, but it is so worth it! All those smiles and crazy faces they make, are were captured in a time capsule on my camera.

I usually share a few on social media, but other times I just put them on my computer and leave them be. It may seem like a lot of unnecessary photos now, but just think ten years down the road we will look back and giggle about mom chasing them around the park with her camera. You can not put a cap on how many photos is too many!

I see so many parents at the park with a perfectly good smart phone, camera included, but they are too busy texting or reading their news feed. I just want to scream at them and tell them to turn on their camera and snap a few photos of their child/children playing. Especially when they only have one child, and they have no one to play with. Following them taking photos would be fun for them, and will make for precious photos for you.

Call me judgmental, but I just think it is so important to capture them growing, because one day they will be off with friends too busy for you. Children are amazing, and they grow so fast, don't forget to stop and soak it all in from time to time. Sometimes I think we all get caught up in our daily routine, and forget to appreciate these moments with our children.

My children get mad at me for taking pictures so much, but I just remind them that one day they will be grateful their mother was a photo taking fool.

June 21, 2017

Childhood and Bullies

So the biggest question I see from parents is "what do you do when your child is being bullied?" I as a mother want to march right up to the bully that made my baby cry, and make them cry! I have had more than one incident that has flipped my momma bear switch, and we have gone to the school to handle the situation ourselves. I understand that kids will be kids, but there is a line; and when it is crossed I will be talking to the principle, and parents of the bully if necessary.

Now with this I do talk to my children and tell them to just let it go, but I think there is a point when a child has a hard time letting it go. Bullying has gone to a whole new level since I was in school. I have read some horrific articles, and have seen so many ridiculous stories about bullying gone bad, so as a parent when do we draw the line of no more? Would it be wrong to pull you child from a school they are being bullied at? Would it be a bad idea to look into homeschooling?

I am in a learning faze of dealing with bullied children, and I am learning really quick that all children react differently to bullying. If you are dealing with a child being bullied, then as a parent you need to identify their emotions about the bullying. Connect with your child about the bullying. Come down to their level and make them feel comfortable sharing with you. Do not over react take a deep breath and let them get it out.

So to give you an example my little girls have both had their share of children making fun of them, or being just plain mean. My oldest daughter is a softy and she does not like to talk about it. Sometimes it takes a while before she will give me the whole story, but I can usually tell as soon as I come to get her from school, what kind of day it has been. Now with my second oldest, who forever was the shy pie that did not talk to anyone, is not afraid to stand up for herself. She is one of those children who has a comeback for everything and well she takes care of herself very well.

So here I have two completely different situations. I have one crying her eyes out, and at the age of 8 is already self conscious about things she shouldn't even be worrying about. While I have another that sometimes I worry she will become the bully. Don't get me wrong I am glad she sticks up for herself, but at times I worry the reaction she gets from others will make her like being rude to people. I remind her often it is not okay to bully, but standing up for yourself is good.

In the beginning I was always so angry teachers were not fixing this, but now I have become more understanding. Teachers are way out numbered and they cannot be by every kid all the time, and some kids do not want to tell, in fear it will make their situation worse. A teacher can only do so much about the bullying. So lets take a step back and be sure to know the situation, before you lose it on a teacher. If the teachers are oblivious then by all means show them what happens when something happens to your baby.

Bullying is on the rise, and is to the point that young children are taking their own lives. It is an ugly epidemic, and parents need to be aware. Be aware of what goes on with your children at school. Ask them about their day, and listen. Listening is the most important part of being a parent. Do not ask and not listen. If your child senses you not listening they will eventually put a wall up, then you are on the out. Who else would they turn to?

If you have concerns about bullying in your child's school, don't be afraid to show you concern. I know some are too busy, but think about starting an anonymous group where kids could talk to someone without other kids finding out. If a child is seen regularly seeing the therapist, well some kids are jerks and it will only make it worse. There is video chat, email, texting, and so much more. Would it hurt to help these children talk about it in comfort?

With all that being said I would like to leave you with a little food for thought. What about the bully? Everyone is focused on the bullied, but shouldn't we also be concerned about the bully (like a take it out at the source perspective)? What demons does that bully have to make them treat another child poorly?

That is a topic for another day!!!

June 20, 2017

Invisible Mom

Do you love looking through old family photos, and sharing a laugh with your family? I recently made a slideshow for my hubby on our 10 year anniversary. As I went through my 11000 photos and videos stored on my computer, I was overwhelmed with joy looking back on our life together.

I sat back in awe of what life has brought us. We are so lucky! After nearly three days of memory lane, I began sorting all our photos into different folders to make it a little more organized. It really was a lot of fun and I felt all warm and fuzzy.

I have captured so many great memories with my family...but I as I looked closer something was missing. All of the magnificent memories were great...from my point of view, but what about for my children. The point of my photos and videos are to create memories for my children to have them and grow to love them. I am a huge part of their lives, but where were the memories of me.

I am always on the other side of the camera capturing the best shot from the perfect angle, but I forgot the most important angle of all...the one that includes my children's mother. I am nearly non existent. I feel like the ghost mom, and what kind of memory is that. I spend day in and day out with my children, yet I have no pictures of myself and them. I only have a few full family pictures, but is that enough. How will they show their children, or grandchildren when I am gone. A memory is just a memory, but a picture is the best way to share a memory with someone who was not there to witness it.

The worst part is, I have taken pictures with myself included, but being my own biggest critic I deleted them years ago. When I showed up in a picture and I did not like the way I looked I hit the delete button and did not think twice about it. Well now I am so angry I did that. It was unfair of me to take those memories and erase them from our lives.

Next time you are out with your family take a family selfie, no matter how good or bad you think you look keep it. Better yet take many. Its not like you have to share it or even show anyone. Put it in a capsule and save it for your children to have when they are older.

Today there are so many devices everyone carries on a daily basis that we can take out and capture a picture, so there is no good excuse as to why we don't. Husbands next time your wife is cooking, cleaning, napping, or what have you take a picture or two, and store it somewhere special for her. A woman is always her worst critic, and she will be upset at the angle, or look on her face, but one day she will be grateful and so will your children.

June 16, 2017

Being in Foster Care and how it changed my view on life!!

Have you ever been in Foster Care or knew someone that was? Being a foster child myself I would like to share with others what it can mean. It is never easy swing someone in this position, but out there somewhere is hope for them. Some never find that hope, but I did!

As an infant my mother put me on a side burner and my father committed suicide. Everyone always told me my father loved me very much and that he was an amazing person, and I am sure he did and was, but he was not there and my mother obviously did not want me. Luckily I had a grandmother who took me in and raised me as her own. Well she raised me for the first almost 10 years of my life, and one day my whole world turned upside down.

We had just returned to school from a field trip and I was called to the office; when I arrived there was a lady I had never met waiting for me. I was scared, but the school counselor and principal assured me that it was fine, and that I needed to go with her. So we got in her car and as we were driving I felt the tears coming she assured me everything was okay, but I knew by her silence it was serious. So many things were running through my head, but never being able to go home was not one of them.

I was then placed in a temporary home with my baby sister. There were 5 of us, but they could not place us all together. I was confused by the fact that I was taken, because my mom had never taken care of me. I really didn't know my sisters or her. She had not been in my life much, but that was how it had to be because my grandma did not have custody of me. I was scared and just wanted to go home, but unless my mom got her life straight we would not be returning home.

I lost all hope of going home after the fourth visit we were to have with our mother, and she was yet again a no-show. After that I had accepted this was my life now. At this point I was placed in a family by myself 80 miles away from all that I ever knew. I was so angry and so lost, but it was time to get used to it and learn to live a life I didn't know how to. I had 3 new sisters, a new brother, and a new mom and dad (which I never had).

It took time and it was not easy, but I grew to love where I was. My foster family raised me as their own child, and that for me was amazing. I never had a mom and dad to come home to. I was not the ideal child. I was not very social. I spent a lot of time by myself in my room, but they would try to get me out to be with the family watching television or what not. Life was so different from what I knew from living with my grandmother. I often thought of them and wondered if they thought of me.

As I got older my foster parents were able to help me get reconnected with my grandmother, and it was amazing I had not seen her in so long! Later on in high school they all  came back into my life and I was ecstatic. I contacted them a few times and they came to a few of my events as I came upon graduating. I was so happy to have them attend my high school graduation.

After I graduated and moved away to go to college, things got tough and I came back to my roots. I am sure glad I did because I met the love of my life, and I got to be with my biological family again. I now see everything in perspective about why everything that happened, happened. I no longer wondered why it happened, or why my mother did not try to get us back, because I didn't care. I use to be so angry at her, but I lost that anger; because I was given an amazing life that she obviously did not care to give me or my sisters; whatever the reason I am now grateful!

I have not kept in touch with my foster parents as much as I wish I had, but life gets so busy I have distanced from them. I hope they know that I love them with all my heart for making me the person that I am today. I hope they also know that I appreciate everything they did for me, and most of all I am grateful that they and my foster sibling accepted me to be a part of their family. No words could ever explain how much I love their big hearts! So thank you from me and my family for making me an amazing person, mother, and spouse.

I will never forget what they did for me...

June 15, 2017

Tech Time

Does your child have a tablet? Do you have a shared tablet for your family? Technology is viewed as being a bad thing for your child, but as long as it is controlled it is amazing. My children have learned so much from programs such as ABCMouse. I am a firm believer in children having tech time.

The biggest question I get from other parents is "Which tablet is best?" I always answer Amazon Kindle, only because that is what works best for my family. There are many options out there for new tech, but I have fallen in love with the controls and monitoring options I have on the kindles from my computer. I connect them to each other so they all have the same games, apps, and movies. I personally use it as a babysitter at times to get a minute of quiet. It doesn't last but it is a nice way to quiet the house and get everybody calm so I can get things done.

With that being said all four of my children do have their own Kindle, and I have a curfew set to where they can only unlock it during certain hours. I also have parental controls so they cannot use social media, location services, videos (youtube or web, I do allow Netflix and Amazon Video), and I also  lock them from being able to download anything with out my permission. The key to keeping technology under control in your home is scheduling tech time and showing your children the importance of keeping their use under control. Do not give then free reign, and also do not let them play to close to bed time.

Technology is our future, and it is important to show your children how technology works. If you are not technologically intelligent, then maybe it is time to school yourself via youtube or what have you. You can do so much on the devices people buy their children, but it is vital that you research the capabilities these devices have. There are a number of horrible things that happen and it is all exposed on the internet!!

Do not give your child access to these videos and explicit content on the internet. Also check location services. Did you know a person could find your child by looking at their selfies on the internet. Each picture holds the location and time stamp information. Be careful of how much freedom you give them on their devices, also keep their use under control.

So basically in my opinion a tablet is not the devil, and it will not be a problem, unless you allow them the freedom of using it whenever and however they please. A tablet with the right programs and apps is a great device for children to learn and grow especially during the summer. Just don't forget to be a parent and monitor the contents and controls of a tablet before handing it over to your child.

June 13, 2017

Children Are Growing Too Fast!

How old were you when you had to have the dreadful talk about your body and how it changes? Have you had to have the talk with your own child yet? I am quickly learning that in todays world with the internet and technology kids are learning about things at a much faster rate. Problem is they are also exploring things they should not be out of curiosity. Recently my 8 year old has been curious about things I thought we would never have to talk about until she was a teenager!!

Well the time has come, and she is hearing a lot of adult terms at school. So being curious she googled it, but I have parental controls (thank god); so that search did not turn up much, and what it dis scared her...lol Even so as a parent I was freaking out I wanted to scream at those kids she was learning this from. Only that was not the answer to what I needed to do. I knew that I needed to be here for her and let her know that it is okay to be curious especially when kids are talking about thing at school. I just told her no more googling, and from now on when she has questions to please come to me instead (still having trouble with how to answer some questions).

At first I thought she was way too young to be going through this, but after doing some research and reading about others going through this; I realized she is fine and this is a part of life. Curiosity in a child can be scary, but just make sure that you make them comfortable with coming to you instead of to the internet or their friends at school. Also do not lecture them about it just talk to them like you would another adult. It will show that you are there for them and that your will help them in the confusing time in their lives.

Also don't come down to their level to be their friend, bring them up to your's. What I mean is don't be the cool parent acting like a kid and being immature, instead talk to you child like an adult and bring them to an adult level to connect with them on.

Raising children is hard, but watching them grow is even harder. So all we as parents can do is be there, and help them grow into beautiful people.

June 12, 2017

Parental Judgement

Do you feel like you let your self go when you became a parent? I see so many moms that have not lost their baby weight, don't brush their hair, or never put on make up; but why do we call it letting ourselves go. It should be called... you know there shouldn't be a name for it or a need to point it out. Some days I look horrible when I take the kids out and about, but after getting those four little bodies ready I am exhausted, or just plainly strapped for time. I know I am not the only one, but why do people have to look at me the way they do, I have four children to haul with me already the dirty looks and whispers are not needed.

I get comments about how many children I have, some rude, and some complimenting my taking them anywhere by myself. I do not feel I need praise. That is my obligation! I am a stay at home mom and that means doing my daily routine with my children, while my husband is at work. So for those working moms who think we stay at home moms are lazy bums follow me for a day and call me lazy I dare you...lol Do not get me wrong there are super moms out there I wish I could compare to , but I feel good about my parenting.

As parents let us help each other and build one another up, we get enough criticism elsewhere. For example breastfeeding moms are criticized for feeding in public, yet those who formula feed are looked down upon for not breast feeding. Make up our minds!!! It is a war that can never be won!! Another one that's upsets me is C-section vs live birth; since when is getting cut open the easy way!!! I personally gave birth vaginally with all four children, and I command mommas who have to give birth via C-section. That has got to be horrific, and a painful recovery!! Growing that baby is the miracle, not the way they come out of your body, and not matter how your give birth we are all miracle workers!!

Start a parenting group or just start connecting with more moms from your child's school or daycare. Lift them up, and share advice. Do not judge each other, but help each other survive another day caring for your little ones. If you don't have time to meet and greet stay connected via email, phone, or social media. Every parent deserves support and thanks for what they do.

Parents are a presence in a child's life that can never be replaced. 

June 11, 2017

Do You Struggle With Bedtime?

Do you struggle getting your children to go to bed at night? Do you have a bedtime routine? We have tried every routine and bed time fix, but it is a still NIGHTMARE. Well there are some nights when the kids just stay up so late that they basically just pass out when they hit the bed. The problem with late nights though, is no matter what time we put them to bed, they wake up too early. Correction, we have one early bird that makes just enough noise and fumbles around just enough to wake the others. The giggles last long enough for me to say good morning and walk out of sight. Before I even get all the way down the hallway the fight is on, and little voices are yelling across the house.

With some families routine is probably great, but we are obviously our own kind of family, and well it does not work. Routine in our life is almost impossible, we are lucky if we get anywhere on time. Parents who have the routine down and it works I am jealous. As soon as I mention anything pertaining to bed time there is a house wide panic, and everything hurts. Oh and everybody is thirsty, hungry, and has to poop at the same time. Once we finally get everyone laid down the first time it gets to the hard part.

They come out of their room one at a time and just stare at us as they walk by; like they are waiting for us to say something. The first time we usually just tell them get what you need and get your butt to bed. Now when it continues is when it gets very frustrating. How many drinks could a child take at bed time before they explode? As the night continues they come out again, and go by staring so we stand up and give the look. They panic and run back to bed like they are being chased by a zombie...lol

It doesn't end there though, now we begin hearing giggling and toys hitting the wall. We repeatedly say good night and go to bed. It does nothing so I sneak to the door and peek in and oh boy do they jump and hit the bed fast. Ugh. Now we wait and sometime minutes later they are asleep, but sometimes it is an hour or two.

What are we doing wrong? Oh thats right..NOTHING. Parenting is not suppose to be routine and planned out to perfection. Parenting is an adventure, and there are a number of forks in the road. I may complain now about the obnoxious nature of bedtime, but someday we are going to miss this. We will miss the fighting, the picked scabs that need a bandaid, and the stares as they walk by us to go get a drink.

Oh and who could forget the conversations they don't think we hear. For example the other day I told my younger girls to go take a nap, so my youngest daughter goes on to tell her sister she is so tired she could sleep like a kitten. She asked her sister, who is a batman fanatic, if she was going to sleep like Batman; her sisters response to that was "Batman NEVER sleeps"...LOL I tried to be serious and tell them to just get to sleep, but instead we sat and laughed about her craziness! Needless to say they did not nap and thats okay because we had a good laugh out of it and it will be something we will remember for a long time.

June 9, 2017

Our Journey of Chronic Childhood Migraines

Have you ever watched your child be in pain? Have you ever had your child look at you with those sad tired eyes wanting you to take away their pain, but you can't, and doctors have no idea what is going on? My hubby and I are currently going on two years of watching our toddler go from this sassy little jumping bean to a couch potato that at times can't even lift her head off her pillow. It all happened so fast and it has been a long road that still feels as if it will never end.

In the summer of 2015 we were out playing in the pool, and all of the sudden out of nowhere my daughter slumped over in her floaty and looked pale and as if she was going to pass out. Instantly I thought heat stroke, or something along those lines we proceeded into the house, and I gave her a snack and water. She would not eat but she took some water. She kept saying she wanted to go to bed. I was afraid to let her fall asleep so I called the doctor and they said to give her Motrin and continue hydrating her. The nurse proceeded to tell me the signs of a stroke and to bring her in if things got worse.

That was just the start of changing our normal everyday life. The migraines do not happen as often as they use to, but when they do they seem to grow in intensity every-time. I do understand others have it worse, and I am not here to be criticized by others with kids that are more ill. This is not a competition! I just want moms to know that you do what is best for your family, not what looks better on you new feed!

Before all of this I had pictures of all of our adventures, and all of our park trips. When I did not have them anymore and my pictures consisted of the kids at home all the time. I compared myself to others that were taking their kids to the water park, or on some great camping trip; and I hated that we were no longer able to do all of that because we were worried about something happening away from home. The reality of it is we still have no idea what is causing them or how much of anything she can handle. The one trigger we know of is too much time in the sun, and that has been hard, but we manage.

I have sucked it up and realized who cares that we are not out and adventuring like others, because we are home taking care of our children as needed. Now that it is two years later our adventures are back, but are fewer and farther between compared to before. I hope to be able to get her migraines under control enough to be able to start doing more adventures, but I do not want to over do it too soon.

We as parents need to do what is best for our children and family. Stop worrying about what is on your newsfeed, and what others are doing. Be the parent your child needs you to be, not the parent you think you need to be. Children are precious and deserve a home filled with love and happiness. Lets stop comparing ourselves to others, and stop putting each other down. Every parent is different, and that is the way it should be, because not all children have the same needs.

No matter the adventure big or small; to the park or the backyard make it count. Memories are a wonderful thing, and you can make beautiful memories with your family no matter where you are, as long as you are together and having fun. So take those videos and those photos, and one day your can look back and remember the day your child learned to ride a bike, started school, or graduated from high school. It is never too late to start making memories, and they could mean the world to so many some day.

Thanks again for reading!! Have a wonderful weekend!!

June 8, 2017

How Do You Know When You Have Found The One

Are you married? In a relationship? I often have people ask if my hubby and I are married, and the looks I get when I tell them no are so judgmental!! Yes we have 4 children and no we are not married on paper, but when you have a love like this no wedding is needed. Don't get me wrong marriage is a beautiful thing, and I have personally attended some beautiful wedding, but it's just not our thing. We never saw the point to making a big deal about sharing our love with a great big celebration.

On May 27th 2017 we celebrated being together for an entire Decade!! So why is it a big deal that we are not married? I will never understand it myself, but it doesn't matter because our love is strong and  grows stronger with each day we get to spend together. 

Love is one of those things that you can never really completely figure out. Everyone wants to what love is, or how to know when you have found the one. In my eyes there is no way to know until you take a chance and dive in. Let life happen and don't be afraid of every fork in the road. I never imagined that our relationship would blossom into what it has, but it did, and I am so glad I took a chance.

I have so many people tell me how lucky I am to have a man in my life, who is there like Ethan. I usually just say thank you, but in my head I am doing a major victory dance because I know I found the one, and I know he is amazing!!! Words could never express my love and appreciation for a man that would do anything for not only us, but for all those he loves

I even get a daily reminder of how much he loves me usually in a morning text or call, before his work day starts. When he has a bad day he will call me just to hear my voice. These are just a couple things that  remind me that my hubby is amazing, and make me appreciate the love he gives me. 
There is no better feeling in the world than love. Not only from your spouse, but from family and close friends. Don't ever forget to remind those you love, that you love them. Make a call, send a text, drop by to see them, or tag them on social media. No matter how you do it that simple 3 letter phrase can change a persons mood or day. 

All I have to say is I hope at one point or another everyone gets to experience a love like ours.

June 7, 2017

Stay-At-Home Parent vs Working Parent

Do you ever just feel like life is passing by way to fast? Do you ever feel like you are missing out on so much? I would like to share this post in honor of my hubby and all other working parents out there. I currently read a post on my social news-feed about Stay-at-parents vs. Working Parents. I have personally done both, so I feel I have a right to share my opinion whether people like it or not.

Stop this war of who has it worse!! Instead of fighting about it we should be building one another up, and trying to understand each others point of view. Every mother and father has their own opinion about parenting and how to raise their children, and I understand that, but this war of "being the perfect parent or family" is not going to happen. There is no such thing and every family just needs to do what works for them.

When I look back to being a working parent, I still feel like I missed out on so much. Its probably because I did, but I can't do anything about it now. When you hit a certain age or have a tiny little baby it seems like life hits the fast forward button, and boom before you know it they become your enemy...lol By enemy I mean a back talking, sassy, argumentative, spoiled brat (If yours never gets there I bow to you). Thank goodness those moments pass and we can still have fun together. Plus I know all their tickle spots that no matter how mad they are make them laugh like a mad man!

I count my blessing today that my hubby is amazing and works his butt off so that I can now stay home with my babies. Being home with them has been the best gift a mother could ask for. I am here when they need me and we get to hang out together all day. No one could prepare any mother for being a stay at home mom. It has turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I cherish every moment and milestone I get to be present for, because I know somewhere a mom or dad is at work missing out. For example my hubby works for a local tree company and well in the summer especially he works very long hours (sometimes jobs call for him to also work weekends). He misses out on a lot of moments at home. I took it upon myself to make sure to record and photograph as many moments as I can for him. I have a computer and phone full of photos and videos that I share with him when we get time to sit and relax.

I know a photo or video could never compare to being there, but it is my attempt to share our days with him. I know some parents are gone for weeks, month, and even years for different jobs or career choices; and I personally could not even begin to imagine being one of those families, that would be tough. I am thankful for the new technology available for live video, video chat, and the quality of photographs I can take right on my phone. Families are able to stay connected on a whole other level than in the past, which is so important.

Now I want everyone to stop and take a moment with your phone or camera and just take picture of your family members. They do not have to pose or look at the camera, just capture them in the moment doing whatever it is they are doing. Now save it somewhere or go print the and store them wherever you store your pictures. Those tiny moments that seem like a bad picture now will mean the world to you in years to come. If all you have is enhanced, posed, and edited pictures take some of you and your family just being yourselves.

Also moms let your kiddos take a turn with the camera to capture you, because whether you look horrible or you are embarrassed of how you look; to your kids it will be a treasure in years to come. I am guilty of not being in photos for years. I take pictures of my family all the time, but there are not many of myself so in a future blog I will be sharing a photo session of me and only me (which I am still having a hard time with).

June 6, 2017

How Do You Deal With a Tantrum?

So picture you are walking through the store and you hear a baby or small child throwing the tantrum of the century. What do you do? Do you walk by smiling because you understand or feel horrified for the parent/guardian; or maybe you rudely exclaim "if that was my child..." (pretty sure we all know the ending of that), or do you through a hissy fit like a child yourself and leave the store outraged by their savage like performance? 

I know everyone is different and whether they are parents or not they will give a different answer. I can honestly agree that I have felt them all at different stages in my life so do not be afraid to be honest. Before I was a parent I was the hissy fit type, but usually didn't leave just rolled my eyes and avoided the commotion.

After having my three girls I was the jerk saying "if that was my child..." or "My child will never act like that!" My girls were angels in public, and still are. Not so much when at home, but I felt like a total supermom, because my kids were so well behaved. I could do all my shopping with all three no problem. Well no problem, minus the 50 potty breaks.

Well all that came to a brutal end when we decided to go for it and try for our boy! What do ya know we got what we wanted!! YAY! It was a dream and we felt like our family was complete and I already felt like super mom so this was going to be so easy! Especially because I was already supermom what could go wrong?

Boy was I wrong...so now I am the parent with the tantrum throwing toddler in my cart.  I can now say the tables have turned and karma has come around. So now I have felt that embarrassment in the store. I have fought back those tears of embarrassment as I picked up my child kicking and screaming and walked out of the store after hours of getting what I needed, just to push my cart to the side and leave with nothing. 

Now that I have had this happen, too many times to count I am working past it. My little guy can be trying, and now I get that it is not always parenting, and well there are just those kids in each family (in my opinion I do know others think differently). He is raised no different than the girls were but he likes to push my buttons. I have learned to ignore him and those around me, because I have been in all situations and well we will all get over it when we are done and gone.

I no longer leave when he throws a tantrum I just ignore him and tune him out (easier said than done at times), but I have to say it has not happened half as often. I am not saying take this advice and it will work miracles, because lets be honest what works for one mom hardly ever works for other moms. I will say take a breath and do not take parenting to heart. It is like going to school you will learn as the years go on and you will be fine.